This Meetup with psychotherapist and Life- and Relationship Coach Meriana Dinkova (MFT#45696) will focus on some of the main ways we keep ourselves STUCK.
We will look at habits and beliefs that prevent us from succeeding past a certain point. We will create personalized systems on how to prevent that.
The content and experiential exercises in each Meetup are different, depending on what the most common issues are that the participants bring that night.
Sick of setting goals but not meeting them?
.. of having aspirations and desires but not the balls or perseverance to reach them without giving up or getting distracted?
.. of desiring closeness but “picking the wrong people’ or pushing it away?
“Self Sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.”
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
Price: $20 if prepaid by 9pm at the evening before the Meetup. (RSVP alone doesn’t count as prepaying) ; $25 after that; $25-$35 sliding scale at the door (prepaying will reduce your chances of last- moment sabotaging coming to the meetup:) .
You can prepay directly on Meetup and if the payment option on meetup doesn’t show as available yet (often it can’t be included while allowing member to register also without prepaying) , you can prepay through the button below:
You will open to more ease and aliveness through:
- learning to recognize self sabotaging forces/ voices/ behaviors
- gaining tools to manage them when they occur
- effectively dealing with inner conflict
Whether in the form of negative rumination, relentless judgment towards self or others, immobilizing fear or indecision, we all know forces in us that sabotage our happiness, productivity, and relationships. Some of these are more obvious, like constantly missing deadlines, overworking or overspending and being always broke or in debt. Others hide in attitudes that criticize, judge, compare and assume the worst, leading to chronic procrastination, self-doubt, guilt or depression. Some of them lurk in the voices that make us feel bad about healthy expressions of anger, or start whispering scary things in our ear whenever we say ‘no’ or set boundaries.
And at times a strong spiritual inner critic that pushes us to be more compassionate, forgiving and open-hearted (and yet makes us feel inadequate) can be an inner saboteur, in a saint’s disguise.
These energies get experienced in a somatic way by some people and for others these energies can be felt like inner voices – easily to be confused with the voice of our aware self. We can learn how these voices impact our feelings and the way we act in the world and differentiate them from voices that actually serve us. We will practice becoming aware when grasped by those forces and gain choice of which channel we listen to.
Meriana Dinkova is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MTF Lic#45696) and Life- and Relationship Coach in private practice in SF, in Oakland and over Skype/ FaceTime. For the last 22 years she has studied and practiced a variety of and therapeutic , meditative and mindfulness- based methods involving the connection between spirit and body and the ways our attention influences our experience, particularly in the realms of connection, mindfulness and relating. She organizes Medicine Work retreats to Peru in which she combines her work with the medicine work of experienced shamans. For more info go to www.merianadinkova.com
Meriana will present a brief roadmap of the self and show a few ways to identify different parts of the self and to determine which energies or voices are serving us and our goals and which ones are working against each other. We will also learn some basic ways of breaking the grasp of negative or immobilizing forces and shifting into more functional ones.
In most Meetups we will go deeper into the origins and goals of these energies. We will learn to differentiate between innocuous ‘inner forces’ and the truly dysfunctional ones. With some the task might be about taming or transforming them, while with others the approach may be about learning to be with them with more ease. We will also learn techniques to shift between different self-states in order to gain a larger, more grounded frame-of-reference.
In addition to learning to discriminate will also design new ‘inner voices’ and attitudes that can step in and support us when the dysfunctional voices have become active.
Through lecture, guided exercises, sharing and mindful self-exploration, we will study how to get out of the way of our natural evolution and understand the specific ways we sabotage ourselves.
There are many forces at work within the self and getting to know them is the first step towards happiness. Different forces become active in different environments and we will look at how these forces show up in our work and our relationships.
Get to know the forces that help or harm you and learn how to work with them in a way that supports, rather than hurts. This can save you from weeks or years of negativity, helping you achieve personal and professional health, more fulfilling relationships with others and most importantly with yourself.